Worst food trends of the noughties

This Guardian article made me chuckle, so I thought I'd share. I must say I totally agree on the molecular gastronomy front.

Crisis Christmas 2009

I had a thoroughly lovely week at Crisis Christmas this year, and overall helped to cook over 1200 meals at the Crisis Quiet homeless shelter. Many people have been very kind about what a commitment it is, but let me tell you, I have so much fun each year that even if it was for a much less noble cause, I would still be there, chopping away. It is a purely selfish endeavour! And it beats sitting at home watching bad Christmas telly hands down.

As ever, our afternoon cooking brigade was led by the wonderful Norman, who turns 70 next year, and it may be one of his last Crisis Christmases. He is not actually a trained chef; both the guests and general volunteers assume that our kitchen is much more professional than it is, but somehow we manage to get on average 200 meals out each day, mainly due to Norman. Our logistical challenges as ever included only having 2 ovens (1 of which normally runs out of gas during service), some incredibly blunt knives, and just about enough room to swing a very small festive cat.

Anyway, here are a few photos to try and convey what an experience it was. This is a typical main course, this time roast beef with lots of veg. I really ought to put less gravy in my food. All the food is donated by catering companies and supermarkets, and it is a daily Ready Steady Cook challenge to try and decide how to feed everyone.

My proudest moment was the baked apples we did for pudding on Boxing Day. We had a lot of Christmas cake left over from the day before, so we stuffed these into the apples, topped with brown sugar (one lonesome bag we found in the store room). These were obviously not meant to be healthy:

Crisis is also when I eat 99% of my annual intake of custard. Our guests and volunteers love the stuff, and we make it almost everyday. Ed started the awful thing of eating huge bowls of just custard, which we all started to follow. Despite all this, we may have gone a little overboard by making 10 litres of the stuff on the last day:

I really did ruin my hands this year, even after taking my own knives and peelers to the kitchen. This may have something to do with the mountains of sprouts we prepped (incidentially the ones donated by Morrisons's were much nicer than those from Harrod's!):

On the last day, we had a frozen block of chicken breasts the size of a large paving slab to try and defrost in time for dinner. It had been out of the freezer since 10am, and by 3pm, it still resembled the arctic. Prying off each breast one by one was probably the thing that really messed up my hands, but oh it was such a satisfying job, perhaps my most favourite.

In proper Christmas fashion, I put on quite a bit of weight even though I was working, probably because Norman kept feeding me little snacks during the shift. I resorted to having a little stash of food in my little corner everyday, even though I kept refusing to take the Wethers' Originals:

And this is the lovely kitchen crew from the last day! Also special mentions for Iain, Sam, Synthia, Charmaine, Ian and Linda who are not here:

The week was rounded off by the traditional karaoke session on the last night. Yes, I was rather surprised to find people other than Asians doing karaoke whilst sober.

I just made my first proper meal since Crisis, and it was all a bit surreal, being able to stop after chopping just one onion and just one carrot. I also feel a bit like one of the Borrowers as the utensil are so small!

Lastly, a big thank you to the green badges and key vols who make it all happen, particularly Lloyd and Sue. I spotted Sue eating this year, somehow I didn't die of shock.