Fat Duck

When I received the call from Peter inviting me to the Fat Duck at the last minute, I wasn't entirely sure how to feel about it. On the one hand, of course I was excited. Someone had gone through the whole booking palaver and got me a space at what one of the most talked about restaurants of the moment. For a foodie, you cannot be unexcited.

On the other hand though, the inverted snob in me didn't want to get sucked in by the hype. I'm actually very sceptical about the whole concept of molecular gastronomy: It feels more like chemistry than cooking, so clinical that I feel it saps all the passion out of creating something nice to eat. One friend argued that once you get to a certain level of cooking, there is very little creativity left, especially as it's all about the ingredients, and this sort of playing with food allows the chefs to push the boundaries a little further. I was interested to find out.

The crowd at the restaurant completely justified my scepticism about the hype. We were unfortunately sat next to a young lad and his dad, ostentiously celebrating the completion of his GCSEs. The kid was hilariously precocious, braying on and on at daddy about what a truly tremendous opportunity we have here, to dine at one of the country's very best, an experience with which even the past dinners at La Gavroche cannot compare. We guessed correctly that the young lad could only be a product of Eton College. Having to put up with their conversation for 2 hours I guess was a way to sum up the complete style-over-substance of our meal.

That sounds a bit dismissive, but it's not really intended to be. It certainly is style over substance, but it is impressively stylish, and I would say I had a tremendous experience. I really liked Giles Coren's review of the place, where he didn't even try to explain what goes on. Actually, the fact that I'd heard so much about what happens during the tasting menu meant there was little element of surprise, which I guess is partly the point.

Great sensations for the sight, hearing, and smell then, but such a shame it was not really matched by taste. There were only 2 dishes of the 13 course tasting menu that I thought were outstanding (the foie gras and the much talked about egg and bacon ice cream), where the combinations achieved were just singing in my mouth. However, I'm not sure that makes up for the fact that there was one truly disgusting dish that I failed to finish. The Anjou pigeon had been cooked so slowly to retain a lot of its raw texture, but the mouth feel is so foul that I did feel like gagging whilst eating it. Combined with blood pudding, even someone with a strong stomach like me had to push to one side. The wine gums, which were literally gummy sweets made of wine, would be one of those overly-alcoholic sweets that no one goes for even at Christmas, if it didn't have the funky presentation to go with it. For many of the other dishes, I remember what 'happened', but nothing of how they felt on the palate.

I thought the best way would be to leave my commentary here, but I will present all 13 courses as we saw them.
Given the quality of the photos, you will have obviously guessed I didn't take them! They are courtesy of Eunice, who came with a proper ass camera and some amazing technical ability.

LIME GROVE

Nitro Poached Green Tea and Lime Mousse

RED CABBAGE GAZPACHO

Pommery Grain Mustard Ice Cream

JELLY OF QUAIL, CRAYFISH CREAM

Chicken Liver Parfait, Oak Moss and Truffle Toast

ROAST FOIE GRAS

Gooseberry, Braised Konbu and Crab Biscuit

MOCK TURTLE SOUP (c. 1850)

"Mad Hatter Tea"

"SOUND OF THE SEA"

SALMON POACHED IN LIQUORICE

Artichokes, Vanilla Mayonnaise, Golden Trout Roe and Manni Olive Oil

POWDERED ANJOY PIGEON (c. 1720)

Blood Pudding and Confit of Umbles

TAFFETY TART (c. 1660)

Caramelised Apple, Fennel, Rose and Candied Lemon

THE NOT-SO-FULL ENGLISH BREAKFAST

Parnsip Cereal

Nitro-Scrambled Egg and Bacon Ice Cream

Hot & Iced Tea

CHOCOLATE WINE "SLUSH" (c. 1660)

Millionaire Shortbread

WINE GUMS

Historic Trade Routes of Britain

"LIKE A KID IN A SWEET SHOP"

One last word. As I was inserting all these photos, it suddenly occurred to me how self-referential it all was. There is so much Fat Duck packaging and merchandising, you almost wonder whether Heston is just having you on; each diner is given a menu with a Fat Duck wax seal, as well as the Fat Duck cereals, Fat Duck sweeties to take away... At least I hope it is ironic, surely you can't take this all seriously.